Dating
Ladies, I’m a single (divorced in ‘92) guy in good shape and good health and looking for someone to share and experience things with one another in the greater Boston area. Long-term relationships are good - long-distance is not. To be clear, I’m not looking for long-distance relationships.
A few weeks ago, in the monthly meeting of the lads, the topic of online dating came up. Seems like most of the guys used or were using it and were highly satisfied with it. They nudged me into giving it a try. So far (over just a few weeks) the results have been less than satisfying.
In general I find a few common problems that I’d like to talk about here:
Grammar
Online dating and using email as a first contact is analogous to a resumé - it should be perfect. No typos, no misspellings, and with the grammar correct. I have received innumerable emails from ladies who had no regard for subject nor predicate. I don’t expect perfection in all things but I do think if you’re trying to attract a mate, you you should be on your best, not mediocre performance. Here are a few samples I received just the other day:
- “I went to nursing school while I reised [sic] 3 childrn. [sic] They are great kids. I have no kids at home with me know. [sic] I am loving it..”
- You men must have some imagination so please come up with something else besides “coffee” or you will loose [sic] my attention from the get go!
- Your [sic] from Tennessee?
Ladies I ask you - would you want to respond to something so ill-crafted? I thought not.
I see these common errors a lot - note that there are differences in the following words:
“I do require that you passed the 6th grade.”
their, there, they’re
know, now
lose, loose
your, you’re
quite, quiet
If you want to attract me as a mate I don’t necessarily require you have a degree in English Literature but I do require that you passed the 6th grade.
Photos
Let’s face it - photos are integral in an online dating process. So why then do so many of these look like something a Soviet spy satellite took from 10,000 kilometers away? Grainy and out-of-focus, is this really the best effort a lady wants to put forth? Get your friends to take a decent shot or at least go to Sears or Glamour Shots and put your best foot forward.
Substance
I’ve received dozens of emails with something along the following:
“Hi!” “Write me back.”
As a matter of courtesy I try to return every email written to me even if I’m not attracted to her photo/profile and politely explain why I might not be interested. But when I receive a one-line email, with absolutely nothing done to introduce herself or to explain to me why she contacted me, why should I? DING! Thanks for playing! Into the trash bucket they go. Next candidate please.
I do not mean to come off as pretentious or snobbish although in re-reading this tract it may sound as if I am. It’s just that online dating seems so artificial sometimes, so much like bargaining in human flesh that it almost makes my skin crawl. The great loves of my life I have met through happenstance - random acts that cemented strong bonds over shared chemistry. I’m not sure if online dating can ever come up to that full measure - but I do look forward to seeing if it may.
